Rescue

Breakdowns are inevitable, we all understand that. But no-one thinks - or wants to think - it will happen to them. Someone else should bear that burden.

I'm sympathetic to anyone stuck in a broken automobile, which is how I came to hurriedly shower, shave and dress at ten o'clock last night. A fellow driver was stuck at a rest area off the interstate with twelve customers and a busted limousine. I don't know the guy, and he works for the opposition service here in town, but I like to think that if I needed a hand, the brotherhood of drivers would come to my aid.

It's karma, right?

Here's how these things work: The driver breaks the car, and spends time placating his customers. He calls the boss, who is safely at home on his second Saturday night six-pack. In turn, he calls a tame mechanic, who is on his second fifth of vodka - well it is Saturday night, after all.

No immediate repair option then. The opposition boss then calls The Boss, knowing we have a humungous stretched SUV that can do the job. The Boss is on his fourth or fifth bong of the night, but can see more green by sending me out. So I get the call. Probably the only sober/straight driver in the county at that point, I figure I can help.

The elapsed time from that call to me rolling into the rest area was one hour and seven minutes. Now having done this kind of rescue before, I know what to expect. The driver is grateful and relieved. The Boss is counting his money. The opposition boss is glad he'll be receiving no more abusive phone calls. But the customers, ah the customers. Far from being happy, they get into an odd state of mind where they're sorta happy, but still sorta pissed. And you know who bears the brunt of that action.

We swap out the coolers, the drinks and the plastic penises, because this is a bachelorette party after all. Within ten minutes we're under way, and they've lost only an hour and a half of their night. Seems like a win to me.

Everything proceeds normally after that. The group disembark at the bride-to-be's place at 3:00 am. I sense that not everyone is happy, a pretty standard state of affairs when twelve people get together with some booze. Tension has a way of squeezing into a party like this.

You'd think that my part in the rescue operation would merit a little special thank-you or some kind of acknowledgment...and you'd think incorrectly. No tip, no warm words, nothing. But as I have discovered, that's standard.

My reward is the karma. Apparently.




Classic drawing from here [link]

Highway Karma

Miles of pounding the highway gives me plenty of time to think.

Thinking can be dangerous if you're given to flights of fancy as I am. Mostly I think about the other drivers; what kind of person is driving that Cadillac Coupe de Ville at twenty below the limit in the middle lane up ahead? Or is the driver of that Nissan Sentra drunk or texting?

Drawing up beside them, I take a surreptitious glance to confirm or deny my choice. I'm at about 90% correct for this game now.

Or I do arithmetic in my head. I like to figure out my passing time at various checkpoints along the way, and our ETA at the destination to the nearest half a minute. Figuring traffic as well (a dark art if ever there is one) I'm not bad at that game either.

My latest cogitation concerns the Karma of Driving, or Highway Karma if you prefer. The short version is that if I drive for two hours at or below the speed limit, I get points towards driving faster than the limit. Because I have been unwittingly driving like this for a while without earning a speeding ticket, I'm thinking I might be on to something. There is likely some kind of ratio involved, such that, say, two hours of legal driving entitles me to thirty minutes of illegal driving.

An extension of this is the Karma of Traffic Politeness. Allowing others to cut in front without reacting - calm, patient, no resentment - builds up the bank. I'm thinking that a full day of that gives me three cut-ins and one standing on the horn, flashing headlights hands in air verbal abuse free card.

It's not Road Rage, I'm just cashing in my Karma. Officer.





Pic from here. [link]

Also published here [link]