Groups Part 2

When the divider rolls up, you know someone's about to get naked. The air inside limousines is laced with a very subtle gas that whispers in (some) ears:

Hey! You're in a limo. We need some titties here, bucko.

When the first nipple appears, there's a roar from the crowd and the camera flashes begin. One leads to another, which leads to another, and before you know it, breasts are popping out all over. Each pair is worth at least five minutes and if underwear from further south wants part of the action, another five minutes per thong. However, not all is good in this scenario. In that first breast appearance lies the seed of discontent.

By this time we're probably at our first destination. Smart groups book a restaurant table for this stop, but that's rare. Most times the folks want somewhere big and public, somewhere to show off the fact that they arrived by limo, somewhere to remember later. Mostly it's the venue that drove them to rent me in the first place. They have in mind a particular kind of night and this is their marquis stop.

Once everyone is dressed and out of the car, I go to work. There are few opportunities to impress on a night like this, but here's one of them. I clean up, but with a mind to impressing particularly the women. I collect and remove the trash. People are so messy. All the used glasses I wash, rinse, and re-equip with napkins. Don't ask how. The carpets get a sweep, then I tidy up all their bags/coolers/cameras/clothes into some semblance of order. Last thing, replenish the ice in the bar.

Men return and almost never notice my handiwork; women almost always do. That impression remains.

Then I wait. And wait. And sometimes I wait some more.



Photo from here. [link]

Groups

It feels like a good idea at the time. Call around to a group of friends, propose a night out in a limousine, rev up some interest, and then set a date. Do some homework by asking around a few companies for quotes, figure out how much it will cost, let everyone know. Enthusiasm rules, and so you go ahead and book the limo, and look forward to the night.

Fast forward to three weeks later, the evening of the planned party on wheels. One couple can't find a sitter. Marcy just got foreclosed on. Steve is having a huge blow-up with his girlfriend, and doesn't know if he can make it.

Around this time, I roll up in the stretch. It's probably nine or ten on a Saturday night, and everyone's already well lubricated. So what if we're down three or four, we'll just make up the difference with a few extra bucks. Right! Everyone who's coming here? Let's go!

The arc of the night follows a pretty well-worn path. It's quiet in the passenger compartment for the first ten or fifteen while folks acclimate. Then the drinks take effect, everyone relaxes, and the noise level rises. Oftentimes this is the point at which most people are enjoying themselves the most. They've got the right amount of alcoholic buzz and they see that it's cool to be in a limo. Then things start to unravel.



Pic from here. [link]

Also published here. [link]

Hallowe'en

There is a street in our town in which four houses in a row contain four women. They're all married, all mothers but one, all thirtysomethings, all attractive - and they all have enhanced breasts. I know this is true because I have seen all the women together, and let's just say that none of them went for subtlety. Spotting the decoy amongst the ducks ain't that hard.

Completely brazen about it, they were out on the town on the Saturday of Hallowe'en, flaunting their curves. Being neighbors and plastic warriors, they call themselves the Breastford Wives. I smell the odor of some group couplings amongst this lot, but what they do with their Tupperware is their business.

I spent time chatting with the husband of the woman last to visit the cosmetic surgeon. I asked him what he liked most about his wife's new assets.

Well, he said, it puts the lie to the saying that more than a mouthful is a waste. And then there's the smell.

The smell, I asked?

Oh, for sure. For the first two weeks they have that new car smell. I tell you, it's like being in heaven.



Also published here. [Link]