Wedding Tears

Weddings all, to me, appear underfunded and under-organized. Not to say that well-funded weddings are necessarily better planned, because I've seen many expensive 'Wedding Planners' royally mess up. But there's a clear lack of forward thinking skills in this area.

(Note to military veterans: This is a giant market in which you folks could create a very profitable and successful business. From my experience, weddings could all do with a big dose of military sensibility. These people need someone to tell them what to do.)

Which brings us to Saturday. As far as weddings go, this was at the top end. If the bride is reasonably calm and happy with the way she looks, everything works out from there. (For me.)

Chrissy was just as you'd want - friendly, not completely self-absorbed, and she looked great. Her self-organized wedding on a budget looked like it was on a roll when she and her bridesmaids emerged from her house at the appointed time. That's always a good sign. You know you're in trouble as a chauffeur when more than twenty minutes goes by before there's movement.

Mostly, the bridesmaids are a dead weight at weddings. They are all more concerned with themselves than the bride - a contradiction of their title...maids. They should be there to look after the woman at the centre of things, but too often they're bitching among themselves or off smoking ten cigarettes. This group smoked (OMG did they smoke) but Chrissy's sister and one other 'maid kept on top of things.

Until someone fielded a call from the DJ at the beach.(Florida: Beach weddings are all the rage. Don't. Just...don't.) He didn't have any electricity to run his music system. (Amazing. No power outlets at the beach. Dummy.)

The bride cried. Not big sobs, but the tears and quivering lip routine.

Thus began a thirty-minute scramble to find a boom-box so Chrissy could have her wedding march walking down the aisle music.

Fair enough: It was her big day, and she wanted the damn music.

Once they'd finished cussing out the dopey DJ, we put the plan in action. We found a store with a portable CD player, bought some batteries, and we were good to go. Problem solved.

There were a lot of side-plots to this wedding. It's amazing how much human drama one sees in a three-hour limousine ride. One bridesmaid hadn't altered her dress to fit, and had to swap with another; the groomsmen were supposed to ride with us - thirteen people in a ten-person limousine; the bride's mother and father not speaking to each other. The usual.

And in the end, the CD didn't play. The bridesmaids beat-boxed the bridal march. I was proud of them...that's what they're supposed to do.



Wedding limo from this Aussie site [link]

Ybor City Animals

Busy, a new feeling, even if it was only for one day. The weekend was the busiest for weeks, handy because now I might nearly make enough to pay a few bills.

Saturday was notable for blessing me with two (2) limousine runs. The first was an afternoon wedding run, which included a crying bride...but I'll save the tears for another post.

After that The Boss scheduled a 9:30 pm pickup. A bunch of twenty-somethings were heading out on the town in Ybor City, Tampa's high-crime sewer of a club district. Despite that, Ybor is an interesting place, centre of the cigar-rolling business for which Tampa used to be known.

Thesedays Ybor attracts the drunk and drugged crowd. I've seen more knife-fights, punch-ups and general anti-social behaviour on the streets there than anywhere else in the world. Besides that minor detail, the streets are narrow and there's no parking for a stretched limousine, so you can imagine how happy I was to be there.

As usual, the cops standing on the corner turned a blind eye to me stopping traffic on 7th Avenue to unload my people. It's a two-lane thoroughfare, and they understand we drivers are just trying to make a living. I move on as quickly as possible. But as I'm about to drive off to find coffee, another cop, a mounted policeman, guided his steed in my direction.

Using one of those dismissive hand gestures they teach in cop school, he indicated he had something to say.

"You can't park here," he said. I looked up at him, then to the two cops standing behind him on the sidewalk, and back to him.

I wanted to point out the double standard - two sets of cops, two different rules - but thought better of it.

Those horses are BIG.

Weddings and Limousines

In response to my friend DC Chick's wedding announcement - congratulations! - here's my rough guide to renting a limo for your wedding. I'll do this in bullet points so I don't forget anything.

* Shop around by phone first. Phone manner will tell you much about the business.

* Ask specifically for what you want; stretched sedan, stretched SUV, Hummer.

* Make sure of the age of the limo - ask the year of manufacture.

* Look for a limo with a bridal door.

* Consider what you and the bridesmaids will wear.

* Tight/complicated dress means you want easy ingress/egress.

* Once you have narrowed it down, go and look at the cars.

* Impress with the number of hours you will need the limo.

* More hours means greater opportunity for reduced hourly cost.

* Make sure when you book you get exactly the car you want.

* If it's possible proceedings will go over time, confirm that's okay.

* Ask about the drivers.

* Ask for the one with the most experience with weddings.

* If it matters, tell them what/how you want him/her dressed.

* Be clear and precise with your plans for the day.

* Write those plans down.

* Send them to the limo driver, together with any specific requests.

* On the day, let the driver know of any changes to the plan.

* Don't forget to put some drinks in the limo. (Booze,I mean.)

* If you have a problem, communicate with your driver.

* Ask him or her for ideas if you need to. Use them as a resource.

* Put some cash in an envelope beforehand.

* Write "Limo Driver" on it, and give it to him at the end.

* Have fun.


Pic from here [link]

Fiery Wedding

Autumn in Florida is the time for weddings, good news for those of us in the making-the-fairy-tale-come-true business. Actually, most of the weddings I see are not about the fairy-tale. They're often pragmatic affairs, almost to the point of appearing to be an exercise in going through the motions. Maybe that reflects more down-to-earth brides, but whatever it is, the emotional energy is often wound way down.

Saturday I drove a stretched limousine for a wedding, one of the most happy I have seen. A clue that both the wedding and the marriage will work out okay is when I knock at the door (to let the client know that I'm there, ahead of time) and the bride is still in civilian clothes. With a veil. Normally, it might be a red flag, an indication that everything is running behind. But I was early, and when she emerged with her bridesmaids right on time, smiling and calm, I knew everything was fine. A low maintenance bride who takes time to say hello (after my obligatory compliment about how beautiful she looks) is a gift.

Absence of a photographer at this point is a bonus. Photographers often run weddings, which is a pity, because the spontaneity of the day is lost when you have a martinet with a Nikon bossing everyone around. Word of advice to prospective brides: you'll have a much happier day, and get much more interesting wedding photos if you instruct your photographer to simply follow, snap, and refrain from interfering. He or she is there to record the day, not organize it.

During the church ceremony, a fire truck rolled up. Turns out that the groom was a firefighter, and his (on duty) colleagues were there to say hello. Nice touch. A photographer was present by this time, and everyone had great fun having their picture taken with newly married couple all over the truck. See, weddings don't need to be stuffy and formal. It's about celebration, just like these folks demonstrated.

We did head off for formal photos, but by that time the alcohol was flowing, and everyone (read: groomsmen) was pretty loose. That makes a difference. The wedding party participants who forget about themselves and simply keep the newly-weds smiling and laughing, doing the little jobs willingly, truly make a difference. Selfless and humorous groomsmen can literally make a wedding.

The last item for most weddings is dropping everyone at the reception. I was kinda bummed not to be able to spend more time with both the bride (a doll) and the groom (who was polite and relaxed). Good people, great (simple) wedding, and, I am predicting, fantastic marriage.


Also published here. [Link]

Wedding

This is a photo of last Saturday's wedding. More accurately, this is after the ceremony, during the ritual Trial by Photographer.

There is much I could write about wedding day dynamics, but I think that I have discovered a new universal law: as the wedding goes, so goes the marriage.

If everyone's reasonably chill and smiling, and the bride and groom have a half-fun time, I figure the marriage will last. If she is screaming at him before arriving at the reception, there's little hope. But if the bride can get through the inevitable stuff-ups with her smile intact, and the groom loses the wide-eyed what the hell have I done look, I figure they have a shot at it.

These two will be alright. She was calm and low-key. He was uptight because of his useless best man, but came through despite that. In fact, when I said goodbye, I think he stood a little taller in his patent oxfords. That augurs well.