Monday, April 14, 2008

Dog day flatulence

What: Sedan trip from the west coast of Florida to the east coast.

When: One day last week.

Who: Eighty-eight year old woman.

Why: Returning from the vacation condo to the real home.

With: Her uncontrollable hound.

Highlight: Her inability to stop talking about how wealthy she is.

Lowlight: Increasingly flatulent dog. Seriously. After four hours, it was still outgassing.

What kept me sane: Figuring if both scents of farts were pooch originated, or whether she was playing fart tennis with the dog.

Conclusion: Old women should not be foisted upon innocent limousine drivers, cross-country jaunts are only fun with friends, and flatulent dogs should be FedExed.

7 comments:

Girl said...

Ooh nasty!


It reminds me of the time I was in a shop and entered an aisle behind a little old lady and her walker. Each time she moved the walker and stepped? Fart.

Step. *fart* Step. *fart* Step. *fart*

I had to turn and leave because it was both funny and sad.

savannah said...

*LMAO* here, sugar! so that's where you've been...breathing rehabilitation xoxxo

nitebyrd said...

Babe, you need a drink and a hug. From limousine sex to limousine farts, your career is going downhill fast! LOL

(((HUG))) LOL!!!

Vi said...

I bet it was just her farting, blaming it on the dog, hence why she takes it with her.

Wombat said...

Ha ha, Girl. She was a walking whoopeee cushion.

You should have asked if her name was Whoopi.

(Me so funny. Not.)

Yep, that's where I've been, Savannah. Driving Miss Farty.

Thanks NiteByrd!!! I accept hugs from you anytime!.

(Hopefully the farty downturn from the sex is temporary.)

VI, that thought crossed my mind too. But how to explain the two different flavours?

Girl said...

Even if you aren't funny you are rather punny...

Oh I crack myself up... ;)

TC said...

ROFL

Oh my. Sorry you had to live that, but glad we got to read it!