Miami and I have a stressful relationship. She tries to get me lost, ding the car and intimidate me. I try to get where I'm going on time, without mishap, and stay safe.
It's what professionals call a dysfunctional multi-factor cluster-fuck.
What is it about Miami? Why anyone would want to live there is beyond me, and visitors need psychiatric help. Seriously. Miami is a high-crime drainage ditch. The worst drivers in North America add piquancy to the whole mess. Maybe everyone is coked-out there, and I'm the only straight person. That would explain it.
Being a three-hour drive away doesn't help. By the time we've reached the Devil City, it's time for a bathroom break, a coffee, and a stretch. Unfortunately, finding the outskirts means the fun has just started. Blocked streets are normal. Suicidal driving (fast AND slow) is de rigueur, and there is a simmering low-level malevolence in the air.
And yet I tell The Boss that I like the trips there. For one thing, I'd rather be driving a decent distance than hanging around locally. And for another, I'm up for the challenge of finding my way around an unfamiliar and difficult place. I'm determined not to let her beat me. And one day I'll have enough time to take some photographs.
For now I'm just happy surviving to tell the stories.
7 comments:
For now I'm just happy surviving to tell the stories.
this is how i feel about driving up in atlanta, sugar! and i learned how to drive on the streets of la! xox
Silly question: Have you considered investing in TomTom or a Garmin or something like?
For now I'm just happy surviving to tell the stories
And we're happy to read them.
I HATE Miami. I've been there maybe 6 times in 32 years. I just cannot bear the thought of crossing the Broward/Dade line. Actually, I try not to go south of WPB.
If Florida is the penis of the USA then Miami is the ugly sore on it that you don't want to get near.
You're a brave man for taking up the challenge to travel to that horrid place.
If the violence is that bad, I'd love to ride shotgun with you. Heck, I might just move there.
I guess it's probably true of every big city in the US, Savannah. I learnt to drive "American" in LA too. Snap!
Surely Hotlanta has Southern Charm Driving Style?
After you sir, no, after you, sir, no...
Although Seattle was pretty civilized. Probably because speeds greater than 10 mph were unobtainable.
Funny you should mention that, DarkNeuro. Harry did buy a TomTom, probably after tiring of my calls asking him for advice when Interstates close at early hours of the am. And when I get lost in Miami.
Unfortunately, although it's good, TT isn't foolproof with routings, and definitely doesn't know when the 21st St NW exit from southbound 42nd Ave is closed due construction. And the client is screaming to be picked up early.
Why thank you, Girl. I really like telling my tales to you folks.
Florida is the penis of the USA then Miami is the ugly sore on it that you don't want to get near.
Oh, NiteByrd. That is brilliant AND correct. Thanks. Made me laugh and laugh.
You know, IP, it might just be your kind of town. If you're looking for violence, or just the threat of it, Miami is it.
Drugs + money + sex + poverty + wealth = fun.
If you like that kind of thing.
I am not a Miami fan. In the least. Someone else can have it. I'll stay far, far away thank you very much.
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