Circus in the Sun

One hundred and twenty miles up the road lies the Floridian Disney experience. There is no word for the collection of resorts, kingdoms, parks, shops, hotels, restaurants, campgrounds, lakes, lagoons and rides that cover hundreds of acres just this side of Orlando - although 'mess' springs to mind. But that's unfair to messes, because a good mess is completely without organization. This is a very organized mess.

The job was about as good as it gets for a limousine chauffeur. Starting from the Sun Coast in the early afternoon, a very happy group of teenagers and adults had tickets to the Cirque du Soleil near Downtown Disney. Their plan was to have an early dinner, watch the 6:00 pm show, and return home.

This was a sweet gig because my pay is strictly hourly, with a tier system related to vehicle size. Because I was driving our biggest limousine, I was making the maximum hourly rate. With a decent drive to the destination (two hours) a decent wait (five hours) and the drive back home (two hours) I was on target for a good day. As a kicker, any finish before midnight is a bonus. Driver bliss.

Which gradually turned sour. The hyper-organized Disney-mess isn't well equipped for anything other than large buses and cars. Stretched limousines do not fit; the access roads are too narrow, car parks too squished and there are no pickup-points for us. The problem is that I want to give my customers seamless service, which means being as close as possible when they want to be picked up. Parking one of those big beasts isn't possible just anywhere, so I often end up in no-parking zones or otherwise awkward places. I'll take the risk to do the right thing by my folks.

Which looked like working fine until the Disney Security guys took a dislike to me. Overfed men in tight uniforms with nothing better to do (this is Disney, after all, not a meeting of the G-20) took great delight in moving me on from wherever I propped. I understand they have a job to do, but most such officials get that I, too, have one. And it sometimes involves thinking outside the rules.

So after being chased from one carpark, sent to another, and told that I wasn't parked correctly between the white lines, I decided to forever forget Never-Never Land. It's not so much the being shoved around, it's the way they do it. Come talk to me, don't motion from your car. Say "Hello", and "Would you mind?" and I'm co-operative. Ask me questions that are none of your beeswax, and I'll not respond. Ask nicely, and I'll comply.

You would imagine that the welcome provided by Cirque du Soleil and Disney would extend to people like me. You would be wrong.

"Disney? Nah, forget that. You want to try Busch Gardens, it's great there."

Technorati: Chauffeur, Limousine Life, Disney, Cirque du Soleil