Partition

One reason people hire a limousine rather than a taxi is because of the partition. The partition is the electrically powered divider separating the driver's compartment from the passengers.

It's not the only reason to choose a limo. Most taxis don't carry eight or ten people. Most taxis don't have built-in ice-boxes and DVD players. And taxis definitely don't have back-lit bars, neon strip-lights or rave strobes unless you're in Manila, but let's stipulate that Filipina Jeepneys are the exception proving the rule.

So the ability to remove the chauffeur from the party whilst still traveling around in luxury is critical to people paying up. I call it the Boudoir Syndrome, because why else is privacy from your trusty driver important unless you're doing something a little bit rude? Or illegal? Or both?

Whatever the reason, the idea of a road-borne sex-pit equipped with one large and one small bench seat makes some people a little bit insane.

I know this because the customers who are busting to get private behind the partition are gagging from the start. The men are often overly polite upon meeting, and the women tend to avoid eye-contact. Once we're loaded and under way, the partition slides up - whiiiiiiir, clunk - and the laughter quotient rapidly increases.

When the ladies take off their tops the hollering and the flash photography start. (The partitions are not a particularly good fit, so sound and light seep around the edge.) And when the sex (if any) begins, there is quiet, presumably due to concentration. You can figure the rest from there. After ten minutes or so, the quiet gives way to muted guffaws and gradually the chatter and laughing returns.

Then, when everyone wants to leave the boudoir on wheels, the partition goes down - whiiiiiiiir, clunk - and someone will yell:

Hey, Wombat! take us to that bar we talked about!

Yes sir. You've got it.

In more ways than one.

Technorati: Chauffeur, Limousine Life, Sex in a Limousine, Topless