Men's rooms at airports have a different feeling thesdays. After a United States senator allegedly went looking for homosexual sex in Minneapolis, I'm leery of - how can I put this delicately - attending, unless absolutely necessary.
So it was with great happiness that I discovered the Marriott hotel attached to Tampa airport has superior rest rooms. As any international traveller knows, if you want a peaceful, relaxing experience, find a large American style hostelry, where clean porcelain and real hand-towels await.
Best of all, one can have the entire room to onesself, negating the potentially dangerous consequences of having a wide stance.
Here is a picture of some graffiti from the Marriott, fully representative of all male toilet art. Classy, isn't it?
Technorati: Wombat has a wide stance, Limousine Life, Bathroom Graffiti, Crappers.
34 comments:
:going to be sick, very sick:
You drew that yourself, didn't you?
How can I adequately defend myself against such a heinous charge?
No, Eileen, I didn't.
Note the elements common to male facility graffiti:
- pooh
- erect penis, of giant proportion
- animal
- meaningless exclamation
What does Byaaaaaaa mean, I wonder?
Pointing... drawing... laughing... choking... laughing... pointing... rolling on the floor.... oh that's so bad it's wonderful.
You do know the body is trainable right?
Who needs a public washroom when yours is waiting at home?
Choked, I know, it's excellent.
Millions of years of creation/evolution/sitting to pooh, and this is the best we can do.
Girl, that might be true, but haven't you ever just HAD to go?
I can't train myself out of that, sadly. And if I did, I would miss out on the 21st century equivalent of cave-art.
Smile.
There have been times but, as you noted, not all restrooms are the same.
19 hours is my record. I wasn't aiming for that but it was a necessary evil.
tmi?
Bathroom art is tres amusing.
(Oops - Sorry about that...)
My fave toilet poetry recently was in one of the local shrimp bars.
A romantic had written a guy's name in a heart. A girl had drawn an arrow to the heart and inscribed "Kewl, Donatello is my boyfriend!" (Lots of girly hearts all around of course)
Another arrow came up around both inscriptions and another girl wrote
"Your boyfriend, my boyfriend, her boyfriend. Donnie gets around."
Interesting fact: it's hard to pee and laugh at the same time.
Donkey's hooves, Girl, 19 hours?
Unimaginable. The only way to get that good is to train, as you suggested in the first place.
*impressed*
Never TMI. We need more communication, it's good for everyone.
I do have a soft spot for lav humour. There's something so base about it.
Sweet, W/C. It's funny how the dunny drawers are often declaring love or lust. What makes them think of it whilst voiding their bowels?
People are endlessly weird to me.
Interesting fact noted.
When one walks into the bathroom and finds it covered, floor to ceiling, with urine, feces and vomit one suddenly loses the urge to, well, let it out.
It's funny how the dunny drawers are often declaring love or lust. What makes them think of it whilst voiding their bowels?
Because it's one of the most vulnerable positions to be in. You may as well let it all out. ;)
Ah, yes, Girl, I have the same reaction. So the 19 hours was not completely trained for? At least part of it was revulsion at your fellow woman.
And aren't the chicks' bogs supposed to be clean? Another misapprehension punctured.
Let it all out. Tell me it isn't so.
Smiley emoticon.
It was a unisex Johnny on the Spot.
At an all day concert.
That tells you everything.
*grin*
Everything.
Now I get it.
Ick.
Exactly.
Hmmm...Toilet Art..I had a few favourites back in the day of the military where the walls abounded with opinions of the minions. My favourite was (and I don't know why)
'BE ALERT....the world needs more lerts'
I suppose it just seemed irreverently funny at the time :)
Just how does one get a wider stance? Do you have to get leg seperators so you can push your hip joints that teensie ,tiny little bit further apart?
Or sleep with a huge exersice ball between your legs?
Or perhaps spend years on a horse? or for that matter spend you could always spend years impersonating John Wayne, I reckon that would do it LOL
Another disclaimer on gramma, I wasnt wearing my glasses when i wrote that.
I love bathroom graffiti. I absolutely adore it - crude, angry, political, stupid, rude, hateful - all of it is awesome. I spent much of my high school and university years being educated by the dunny wall scribblings of women with something to say. I always wondered how different mens and women's public drawings are. I guess it depends on where you go but there's a lot of "help me I have a problem" ones and "gender politics/world politics".
Here's my favourite one that I saw and created an entry about it.
click here
Scorps, that IS a classic. It takes me back to various thunderboxes I have patronised around Auz where the stall scribblers kept me amused for hours.
Not in one sitting. Cumulatively.
Enigma, you seem inordinately interested in my membership of the Wide-Stance Club.
Thinking John Wayne, the ultimate man's man, is the right direction for you to go. We like to be manly in ALL situations, even in private.
Does that help?
Nice one, Mez. There isn't much of the "help me" style in men's rooms, unless it's of the "help me I've fallen into the bowl" type. And any political humour will revert to pooh references as well.
Men are clearly catholic in their stall art - if it's not sexual or scatalogical, (or both, see pic) we're not interested.
Power to them all!
That Art is hilarious! I can chuck a piss anywhere, but I am very picky when taking a dump as well.
I,d be interested to see who were members of the Wide Stance Club, and what criteria they had to fullfil to become members ,LOL
Also, don't eat chilli, then drive with your window down with customers in the car. You will definitely not get a tip if you do!
IP, ditto.
*snicker*
Dump a piss.
Enigma, we're a secret society. In fact, by outing myself, I have violated untold numbers of WSS by-laws. The sentence imposed will probably be months of narrow stance.
VI,a poem for you:
Drive for money?
Keep them sunny
Don't eat beanz
You know what that meanz.
Holy Crap (no pun intended)....
I didn't know there were four requirements to male bathroom art?
Now, I'm wondering if the women's art has standards too....
*wondering when to start her research*
Oh Dear Wombat, I hope your punishment for outing yourself from the secret Wide Stance Club isnt to unusual, the may make you wear pencil skirts!!!!!
Enigma!ROFLMAO!!!
Sorry - could see a Wombat in a pencil skirt trying to.... ummm, nevermind.
IWHPCI-thank you, once I release the tight grip I usually have on my self, I really let loose, so to speak, and Wombat would look great in a pencil skirt, with no side split .
PS My best buddy came up with this last year, for all those nast smells, she is making a fortune out of it, even been on Oprah !!!!
go here http://www.poopourri.net/
ps this is not some sort of sneaky advertising BTW, it just fitted the toilet theme.
Well, they're not requirements I guess, Chick. More like defacto inputs. Eagerly awaiting your findings.
*The Chick Report on Chick Loo Lit*
Also, for the peanut gallery, my darling peanut gallery, I'm studiously ignoring the idea of me in a pencil skirt, with or without a slit.
Oh, the ignominy.
Poopourri. That is SO clever.
Oh Wombi-pombi, no ones making fun of you.Actually i thought of that because I bought a black pencil skirt yesterday,with a side split, and the brand was called Wombat, no Joke.
And my friend is very clever, it was an idea born of nessesity, her hubby eats a lot of beans
hmmm - maybe I can get the spammer guy who does cartoons to do one up of you in the skirt... or there's always photoshop ~evil grin~
Peanut Gallery.
Bite me.
Pencil skirt with slit, Enigma? Nice.
A quality brand too, I note.
She married a guy who farts and eats beans? It's like she married a whooppeee cushion.
LP, I'll pay you good money to desist. I have my manly rep to maintain.
Where?
That would be a corker of a cerimony..Do you... take Mr woopie cusion to be your lawfully wedded husban?, through sickness and health?...the mind boggles.
Love it, Enigma. Through gas and farts, raspberries and fluffs.
Boggling.
Ypu got the feel for the ceremony exactly as I pictured it Wombat. :)
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