There is a particular combination of people and circumstance that makes for a good night's limousine driving.
The people need to be rich enough not to notice the $78 per hour rate for a car exactly like the one above. They need to be relaxed enough to be looking for a good time, so preferably they're not going to a formal event. And they need to drink.
So it was with great happiness I collected two couples from a town an hour south, noting they were casually dressed, and came equipped with a well-provisioned cooler, to wit: beer, wine, vodka, bourbon and B&B. These folks were in for a good time.
Just how good a time became clear after the dinner stop. (We first went to a sunset drinks place, then a tiki bar, so they were fairly humming by then.) The conversation had gone from mildly rude to flat out pornographic. (It's always interesting to note the progression of these things, and how alcohol is both a truth serum and horn-dog releaser.)
The guys were almost as keen as the women to snap photos of the wives kissing each other. Fifteen minutes of sophomoric screaming later the deed was done, the blokes had witnessed their wives demonstrate lesbonicness. Not that I saw any of this, mind you. My evidence is strictly aural, because they didn't raise the privacy screen and I wasn't interested in looking. It's possible that was part of the game, to "do it" in front of the driver.
Wow, daring.
It's amazing what people reveal when they think no-one is listening. I learnt that both the women were running commando, that they had made several novelty purchases in the sex-toy dept in the last week, and that they both wanted to buy strap-ons to "do him" so he knows what it feels like (presumably pointing at husbands.) (The husbands, for the record, weren't keen.)
That's the end of the tale, although they spent most of the hour home taking more pics of the women topless, bottomless, headless and - for all I know - in coitus, but I had completely lost interest by then.
Whatever it is about limousines that inspires people to get their hump on, I heartily encourage it. A $150 tip will do that to you.
Technorati: Limousine Life, Lesbonic, Strap-on, Getting your hump on.
14 comments:
LOVE the Limo stories! Brilliant!
It's interesting how you become somewhat invisible, as if you were just another part of the vehicle to them.
Why thank you, Clapper, what a sweet reception.
Yeah, by staying silent, and talking only when talked to, customers actually stop thinking the chauffeur exists.
How infinitely nuanced is the human mind to do these things.
Sex in a vehicle seems to be a popular trend in porn nowadays. Maybe that inspired then. I'd like to tell a tale about a few personal experiences, but I'll save that for next time.
Wombat... look forward to reading your tales.
$78 an hour? Geez, that's what we pay just to go on a 20 minute trip into the city in a cab! Bring your limo over here mate! (Can't promise I wont get up to anything in the back though!
ditto to Vi... That's slightly more than a cab fare from my apt to Downtown and back!
And I promise to keep the divider down as well.
IP, you hound-dog you. Maybe you're right, my middle-aged folks might have been inspired by porn. Sex was certainly on their mind.
Hi Tiffanie. I hope to keep you entertained, if not appalled.
VI, I might even be able to talk Harry (the boss) into a discount even from that rate. So just bring your pies, luv, he's a sucker for a nicely built lady.
Chick, is DC really that expensive? Sheesh, come to Florida and save money - and bring me some sanity by your presence.
I had you picked for a privacy partition down girl. I'm developing an instinct for these things.
Is your favourite colour cerise?
"and that they both wanted to buy strap-ons to "do him" so he knows what it feels like (presumably pointing at husbands.)"
presumably????
maybe you werent as invisable as you thought, and they wanted to play "do the driver"
ps that last remark was by me.
I'd be a rather boring backseat rider. I see myself with nose in book or gawking out the window.
If I was having such conversation the partition would be up. Just so I wouldn't be blog fodder.
Kitsune, I sense you're being playful here, but I beg you, please don't put such awful thoughts into the universe.
The words "strap-on" and "do Wombat" should never be uttered in the same sentence.
*not in a million years*
I would happily drive you anywhere, Girl.
*wondering why all customers aren't satisfied with a book and the view*
Sorry Wombi, I stand corrected, the presumably cracked me up though.
Do you have powerful cleaners? Yikes. Akin to bnowling shoes I hope NOT.
Too funny!!
Cracked you up, eh, Kitsune?
Poor Wombat doesn't want to be violated by uncontrollable middle-aged women with sex-toys.
Although it might depend.
Bowling shoes!
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Back of limousines.
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Same thing, Kelly. Human excrescences are rotten, unless they're yours or mine, in which cse they're heavenly.
Nice to see you around!
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