Harry has three different brands of limousines in his stable; Lincolns, Cadillacs, and one stretch Excursion. In order, made by Ford, General Motors and Ford again. And they're all pieces of shit.
The Lincolns are the best of the lot, but only by a small margin. Their engines are agricultural, the air-conditioning is cantankerous and overly complicated, and they all have problems with front disc rotor warping. The windscreen wipers are straight out of the 1930s. Useless.
The Cadillacs are even worse. They're prone to stalling unexpectedly, and the check engine light is permanently illuminated. If there is a real problem under the hood, there will be no way of knowing. The worst thing is that they both have terrible front-wheel shimmy at moderate to high speeds. It must be bloody unnerving for the customers, but after telling Harry many times now, he still hasn't fixed it.
I asked him whether he ever takes his own cars out for a test drive, and he looked at me like I was made of green slime.
I suggested to Harry that he'd be much better off with a fleet of used Lexuss (Lexii?) because they're completely bulletproof, and supremely comfortable. Unfortunately, his hands are tied. To work in Hillsborough County, where Tampa Airport lives, limousine services can only use American branded cars.
Strange but true. The county determines what equipment the limousine entrepreneur can use.
It's probably the only way US car companies can survive, given how they've been ruined by greedy unions and moronic management for so long. Like the fading politicians in the photo, Chevrolet and its cousins are deservedly dying brands.
Technorati: Fading Brands, US Cars Suck, Government Corruption, Limousines.
9 comments:
The grandparents had both a Caddy and a Lexus over the years.
The Caddy felt like you were floating. The Lexus felt like you were off roading.
The Gran had very racist things to say about the Lexus.
I wonder if unions are really necessary now? They don't seem to help anything or anyone.
There was a limo at a bridal expo I did this weekend, a Ford F-350 (enclosed, of course) called, "Hummer Killer," it was ginormous!
Girl, your Gran liked the armchair on wheels approach to motoring? Well, fair enough. Each to their own.
And each to their own repair bills too, if you know what I mean.
Poor Harry has spent over $90k on the two Caddies in the last year.
*laughing at your Gran's thoughts on Japanese automobiles*
Nitebyrd, you know, as an ex-union member myself, I have often wondered the same thing.
To think of all the money I gave to that organization. The one time I needed their help, they totally caved. Pathetic. They're political machines, pure and simple.
Hummer Killer! How fun! We do quite a few bachelorette parties in the stretch Excursion (with V-10 engine, I might add) but it's not particularly dainty for the bride on the day.
That's when we use the stretch Lincolns, just like the one in the header.
The Grandparents would just replace if the repairs were too much.
Old and crazy like that.
I do tend to think the unions have outlived their time. Yes, they are politically corrupt now and don't help the workers that support them.
Being a Ford fan, I'd have to say the Lincoln's are bride-worthy. Although, I always wanted to see a stretch VW Beetle! :D
Nice! A stretch Beetle would be extra fun. Now, where to put the engine big enough...
On the rotors, you can get (aftermarket) higher quality rotors (that won't warp as much or as bad). You should also recommend a caliper replacement for the ones with wonky rotors. Jeep's had trouble with their front rotors for YEARS and finally traced it back to cheapass calipers, not the rotors.
And AC will always be flaky. What about getting something SUV-ish? I've seen a bunch of limo co's in Knoxville with them.
See what happens? Asked and answered, that last question, in previous comments. Sheesh. Blame the hour.
Actually, I think that's a great idea to look into the calipers. I'll tell Harry. (He's clueless about cars, believe it or not.)
Thanks, Darkneuro.
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