People lie. There's no way around it, they lie to themselves, and they lie to their limousine driver.
The lies start small, and expand like insulating foam to fill the void. A common lie is "Oh, we'll only be four hours, we want to be home by nine-thirty."
This one happened Monday night. A man celebrating his 34th birthday with his wife and some friends began with the intention of being home early.
At 1:30 am, while I was in the car park of Cheetahs, I contemplated the change of mind. All along they knew it was to be a big night, but couldn't bring themselves to admit it. When I collected them at 5:30 pm, and dropped their kids at Grandma's place, it was clear they were out to do some damage. Especially the wife.
The other big lie that starts small is "We're going to be the easiest customers you ever had."
This, more than any other statement, puts me on edge. Why? Because one man's "easy" is another man's two hours on the back of the clock cleaning up the shit left by ferals lucky enough to scrape up the four hundred bucks to hire me for five hours.
These people use every glass in the limousine. They smoke. They put their feet on the ceiling - don't ask me why. They insert crushed Goldfish into every seat crevice and still complain that the radio doesn't tune correctly.
"You've been great," they say, handing me a five and five ones. "Next time, we're gonna ask for you." * hic *
Yessir, and next time I'm unavailable.
6 comments:
Ever considered peeing in that champagne bucket?
Would it show an utter lack of class if I rode around naked in the back of your limo? I promise not to touch the goldfish.
Punters can be a right pain in the arse sometimes Wombat... no doubt about it! When I was working a night club bar here in Freo, I had some fantastic regulars, some good blow-ins, and some right tossers - all of which - made the night club world go round!
Kinda sucks sometimes though... you wish you could simply tip em, out the damn door! Most times I can put up with punters, I like the world of client service at times - most punters are pretty good...
Can't you drop 'em in that suburb you were talking about, you know where you try NOT to work (given those mad bicycle riding fellas you got around there!!!) lol!
Bugger!
Funny you mention that, IP, but yes, I have.
I'll elaborate later. Thanks for reminding me.
Nitebyrd, is my subtext that clear? Smile.
Lakota, that's the point. You riding around naked in the limousine is classy. Those people riding around aren't. We all know the difference, unless you're one of THOSE people.
Simple.
And you can have all the Goldfish you like.
Ha ha, Belongum, that's a great idea, dumping the pains in the arse out where the 3 am bicyclists are.
That's funny.
But you're right, most people are just fine...polite, easygoing, normal. It's those who think they can take advantage, who see you as the enemy who are the problem.
The last time I was in a limo, we made friends with the driver. We asked him for suggestions on where to go and then he joined in there for a good time.
Actually, now that I look back... I may have given him my number so that he could call my phone and I would have his number for next time.
And we don't put our feet on the ceiling!
Goddamn it Chick. Here I am making googly eyes at you for years now, and you give your limo driver your number?
What does a bloke have to do to get to a position of buying a girl a drink thesedays?
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